Our Christmas Activity

I'm one who's big on traditions. This year, many of them took a backseat or the timing of the tradition found or is finding a new spot on the calendar. The reason for this comes in a little bundle named Alexa. We forgot how different things are when one has a baby in the house. I told my kiddos through tears the other day that I was sorry that we just didn't do all the Christmas activities that we normally do, but that this year w/ the baby they just hadn't happened. I told them that our Christmas activity this year was taking care of baby Alexa. I asked each of them if they would rather have done all our normal Christmas activities or would they rather have taken care of Alexa. What some might think would be a natural answer to this question isn't necessarily because in this house "natural or normal" have gone out the window. With their neurological impairments, Kirsten and Aaron don't give you answers based on correctness but only on raw openess because they see things only in black and white. I really wasn't sure what they would say & was nervous because I had been feeling a bit guilty. Thankfully, they all picked Alexa over Christmas activities. That was one of my favorite gifts of the season: knowing that Kirsten & Aaron are learning things of the heart when so often constant teachings about other very simple emotions  or concepts just do not sink in. One more gift, one more gift. Some of the best gifts do not come with wrapping.

Alexa...our newest ray of sunshine

Alexa.

Pretty Girl.

Brutzer.

Katz.

These are the nicknames that this dear tiny baby has already acquired with a story attached to each name.

What joy this new little family member has added to our home. As always, we wish she would stay. For those who just do not understand the mentality of fostering, let me explain. We know reunification is the goal. It is just so difficult to want that when you know the danger this little person is in if they return home. As Kirsten said two nights ago, "Mommy, I'm going to pray really hard that Alexa stays." I couldn't have said it better myself.

When C&Y called us to take Alexa they spoke of a possible adoption. This was on Friday when we picked her up. Then just three days later she was almost returned home. It was a miracle that the judge did not do it. Next Wednesday we will find out whether we have a happy or sad Thanksgiving. Her hearing will be on that day and she may be going  home that same day as well.  :(  I'm desparately trying not to fall in love with her. This is the path that I have chosen. I'm getting adept at loving and letting go.

I never knew about Jesus

Anyone who has a special needs child can understand the joy when their child all of a sudden seems to be on the same planet with you. The moments don't last long, but when they arrive you tuck them safely in your heart with a promise you won't forget them.

Kirsten's been having a hard time at school lately. Her & I had a little chat before bed that turned into a big heart to heart talk. Most of the time she just isn't capable of digging very deep when having a conversation. But tonight she talked about how much she missed Davydd & Dayton & was going to pray they would come back. :( She also shared some very sad memories of some very ugly events that occurred in her natural home. The following statement is one of the reasons I put myself through the pain of foster care. All of a sudden Kirsten says out of the blue with big tears in her eyes, "And we never went to church. I never knew about Jesus till I came here." SOMEONE GRAB THE TISSUES!!! Those sweet words that she utttered with such a clarity and assurance of her new-found friend, Jesus, made all the pain of D & D leaving a little lighter.

No babies are coming :(

Yesterday in sacrament everyone kept making references to miracles. I felt like a miracle was coming too. I don't recall in all the years of my mother fostering and all the time that Lonnie & I have done it any child EVER coming back into our home once they left. We would sometimes find out later that they went back into care, but rarely do foster children return to previous foster homes. It's part of the sadness of foster care. Kirsten & Aaron were in at least 5 -7 different homes before Kirsten turned 5 & Aaron turned 4. What a mess.

Anyway, as I wrote before, D & D's mother wanted the kids put back into foster care with us. We all know that I asked everyone to pray for Heavenly Father's will about the boys. But as the week progressed and we got closer to today (the day the boys were supposed to come), I felt like I could get excited about them coming. Unfortunately, I told Josh they were coming. He has been so excited. I cannot even explain the depth of it. He has been doing a virtual countdown to them coming.

So, yeah, we got the call this morning, the day the boys are to arrive. Their mother changed her mind again. The boys are not coming. To say I am sad would be the understatement of the year. The guilt I am experiencing because I prematurely told Josh can not be understated either. I absolutely hate myself right now. I will never tell him again that tiny people are coming till the case worker pulls up in the driveway. I feel like the worst mother in the entire world not to mention a sad one. :(

I'm asking for all the prayers I can get

The tiny people might be coming back next week and every prayer counts. The case worker called today & said that D & D's mother want her children to go back into foster care but only if they can come back to us. They are going to give her 24 hours to be sure of her decision. WHATT!!!!!!! How much more can we put these tiny people through? Is this for a reality show on how much people can mess up their children???? I know as a foster parent I am supposed to hope for reunification for all the foster children that step into our home. That is almost ALWAYS the goal.But for reasons I will not say here, it was WAY too soon to return these children, but what do I know? What do the caseworkers know? Nothing and nothing. The all mighty judges of this county know best. Yeah right. If that were the case, D & D's mother would never have gotten her children back so prematurely. She desperately needs to work on helping herself before she can even contemplate being good to her children. So...I rarely ask others to pray for or with me, but this is my request. I'm not asking people to pray that the tiny people come back to us. I'm praying that Heavenly Father watches over them & does what is best for them, whatever that is. It is not for me to say. Since the first week the tiny people were here, I put them on the Temple prayer roll. They needed every prayer they could get. Names stay on the prayer roll for two weeks, so every other week I call & put their names on again. Those little guys really left an impression on our family, my siblings, and my parents. My mom told me tonight that every time she looks at my blog & sees their faces she starts to cry. :(When it's Lonnie's turn to say family prayer at night, he still prays for them. Now I'm asking all of you to slip in a couple extra names in your prayers tonight. Every prayer counts & its a great feeling knowing that I have family & friends to call on to ask for this special favor. Some tiny people are counting on you.

I would be lying if I didn't say it would make me happy to have them back. I could never tire of watching any of the sights above.

There are really no words, but I have to say something

My dream of six children ended today. Grief really is the only word to use. The emptiness is surreal. The tiny people left this morning after three short weeks. I have felt sad before, but this, oh this is a whole different animal. I have to write so I never forget them.

I will miss so much.

To Baby Davydd:

I will miss the sight of your beautiful face looking up at me from the crib in the morning.

I will miss the adorable dimples that adorned your chubby cheeks.

I will miss the sound of your infectious laughter.

I will miss watching the delight in your face as you accomplished so much while you were here.

I will miss those big, bright, blue eyes that followed me when I would walk away from you.

I will miss the feel of your tiny fingers clasping mine as you drank your bottle and the warmth of your little body snuggling close to mine.

I will miss the smell of your baby fresh skin after the baths you loved so much.

I will miss the smiles that you brought to the faces of my children when they were with you.

I missed you before you already left.

To little Dayton:

I will miss the sound of your little feet pattering around the house.

I will miss the sight of your gorgeous blue eyes.

I will miss the sweetness of your little voice saying, "Hold me, hold me."

I will miss your constant requests to help me by saying, "Help you, help you?"

I will miss the hugs around the neck & the kisses you blew to me at the doorway each night.

I will miss how quickly you learned how to say prayers and your precious reminders to us if we forgot by yelling, "PRAYER."

I will miss the "I love you" that you said to me at bedtime your last night here.

I will miss the ornery giggling that spread through the house when you played with my children.

I already miss you.

It's 8:54 at night. I wonder if Dayton heard a prayer before bed tonight. I wonder if someone gave him a book to read when they tucked him into bed. And, I wonder...who is feeding the baby? Has someone coldly propped his bottle like all the times before or is someone snuggling him close while feeding him with his fingers tightly grasped around theirs.

Dear Lord, I know this is what you want us to do. I told Josh that we do NOT have to keep doing this if it is too painful. "No Mom, I want little kids in this house," he says. So dear Lord, send us more soon to help heal and soothe this pain. I keep thinking I hear the baby over the monitor and then stop and say to myself, "Oh, they left."

Two happy things - day 19

1. Help. One thing I do not feel comfortable with is when someone wants to help me outside of the people within the walls of my home. I know it's a blessing to help others, and I know we're not to stand in the way when someone wants to help us. We're denying them the blessings of helping someone. Irregardless, I HATE asking for help even when I really need it. My family knows this as well. My mom and siblings offered to help with Josh's family birthday party and it almost killed me to say yes. I completely appreciate help, but always feel I am bothering someone. So, besides my poor mother who gets asked to babysit, I don't feel like I ask for much else. It's usually just a shoulder to lean on that I am looking for. Today though I realized I was out of cold medicine & had a house full of sick kids. What do you do? Take everyone in the store with 103 fevers? No. I knew if I called my mom she would help if she could, but I hated to ask her to come across town just for one thing. She is always helping someone and I just didn't want to ask. She is the guru of helpers (Leah is becoming guru #2 I've noticed). I ended up on the phone discussing some things with my friend, Corky, from church. She says what she ALWAYS says, "Do you need anything?" I felt it was safe to say I desperately needed cold medicine because she was far away at work & couldn't help. :) She quickly announced that her daughter Alicia who lives two streets over would bring me some. I announced it was not necessary & not to trouble her. We chatted further with me hoping all along that Corky forgot her previous offer. Needless to say, Alicia called me just minutes later and said, "Go out on your porch & get your goodie bag." I thanked her & sent Josh out for what I thougth was cold medicine. Ok ladies, want a good friend? Hook up with this girl! She brought me: baby Tylenol, children's Tylenol, adult cold medicine, Pedialyte, soup, crackers, apple juice, ginger ale, tissues, and I 'm probably forgetting something else. WHAT??? Does it get any nicer than that? Anyone want a lesson on how to be a good friend? Take one from her. Thanks a ton Alicia.
2. Kindness. The saying, "The apple doesn't fall far from the tree," is appropriate here. I just talked about how helpful Alicia was. Well, later this evening Corky (Alicia's mom) had two piping hot pizzas delivered. The delivery guy (hey Fred!) wouldn't tell me who sent the pizzas. I figured it must be Corky & called her on it. We giggled about it and she told me that really she sent the pizzas to Lonnie. She knew that he was going to watch all the kids himself the next day so I could go away with my siblings and parents to the Apple Harvest. She didn't want him to have to worry about lunch. This was his first time with all five kiddos and with some of them being sick, she knew it might be a bit challenging. AGAIN, how SWEET is that??? Again, need any lessons on sweetness, Corky's your girl. I felt so blessed this day between all these wonderful, helpful acts of love and service. Thanks again Corky.

Two happy things - day 18

1. Pediatricians who listen. Today was the second appointment I've had for Davydd. Thankfully the pediatrician addressed some of the concerns that I have noticed in the short while that he has been here. I think he realized that these tiny people may not be with me long & that his window of opportunity for proper infant care is very small. I would just rather be safe than sorry.



2. The Piano. Our dear old musical instrument we call a piano has not been used much this summer. Josh barely practiced which I said was ok since his teacher said it was ok. Now that school is back in full swing it was time to start banging on the thing. Josh balked at the whole prospect of it, but I refuse to let up. Like it or not, it is part of the school curriculum per mom. Josh's teacher, Miss Pat, said she used to give her mother a terrible time about practicing. Now Pat is the minister of music at her church & is amazing on the piano. I realize that Josh has no interest in having a musical career, but I find it important none the less. So as his athletic boy fingers hit the fragile ivory keys and I hear the music flow through the house, a smile crosses my face. When I look at Josh, a smile has crossed his as well. :) Now...I am looking for some suggestions on great beginner music that I think would really help with Josh's desire to play. Our music is OLD, and I repeat OLD, like from the dark ages old. It's not old, like classical, it's old like out of date and boring. Suggestions would be great!!

Two happy things - day 17

1. Lending friends. My sweet friend Karen is lending me her double stroller to help me transport my tiny people. I am totally psyched about this. I've been looking for one but want to find a great stroller at a great deal. Still looking. Anyway, I am so excited to be able to take them for walks by myself & get out of the house plus have one for the myriad of appts. the foster children have to go on. This is going to be an invaluable item!! Thanks a ton Karen!!!



2. Prayer. I love the feeling that comes when you know Heavenly Father has paid special attention to a particular need that you have. Lately when I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed which ironically is less now that I have more children. (I still don't understand that, but I'll go with it.) Anyway, all of a sudden the most amazing feeling of calmness comes over me like a soft snuggly blanket. It's typically in the evening when the kiddos are starting to unravel before bedtime. I really don't understand it, but I think some things are easier with having more children. Thank you Lord for the feeling of serenity that you send.

Two happy things - day 16

1. Services for special needs children. Because Aaron is on the autism spectrum he qualifies for special services. One of them is Amazing Kids Club (AKC). This is truly an amazing program that I am so grateful for. Aaron goes Monday - Thursday from 8:15 - 11:15, then the school van picks him up there after lunch & takes him to PCC (preschool communication class) from 12 -3 . Between these two programs Aaron is being helped tremendously with his communication and social skills. Having special needs children has been one of the biggest challenges of my life by far. Homeschooling them will never be an option for me. I truly was not made with the patience for that. I can barely get through homework with Kirsten, but that's another story. Anyway, I appreciate all that Pennsylvania offers for special needs children. Not every state is this fortunate and I do NOT take it for granted.




2. Girlfriends. The sight of a beloved girlfriend's face, ah...such a wonderful thing. Today I was blessed with the sight of Maren. We haven't seen each other much lately since school started. Major bummer. :( She stopped in while her boys were at scouts & I was really happy to see her. I have always felt that at least for some of our friends, that Heavenly Father especially picks them out for us and puts them in our path. He knows the blessing we would be to each other and gifts us with one another. Maren is a wealth of knowledge about soooo many things. She is the guru of learning. What she doesn't know she finds out or figures out. It's fun to have smart friends (& a smart sister). But we share a major commonality. We know how each other feels and use each other as a sounding board. It's very helpful and therapeutic to have someone in your life who is actually "living" a part of your life. They totally "get it" when you speak on certain subjects. There is no speculation, just complete understanding. Luv ya Maren.

Two happy things - day 15

1. Low-maintenance sick husband. Ok, so women talk about it all the time. They speak of how their husbands are such babies when they are sick. They think they're dying and such. Well, my dear hubbie has been soooo sick the past few days. He actually stayed home sick from work today which he never does! His motto when sick has always been, "Sweat it out." Anyway, he slept almost the entire day. He was absent from the living room so much I almost forgot he was home. I was a terrible wife at taking care of him with soup, liquids, and meds. I was so busy with everyone else that I feel really bad about forgetting about him. He didn't complain about it, but everyone likes special attention when they do not feel well. Thanks honey for being low-maintenance, but if I had it to do over I would do it differently.
2. Erin. Now that we are with the county children and youth agency instead of a private agency, there are some changes, very pleasant ones at that. One is A LOT LESS PAPERWORK. Yeah!! The other pleasantry is our new caseworker for the tiny people. Her name is Erin, & she is wonderful. She makes no apologies for her devotion to her caseload of kiddos & is such an advocate for them. She has not been burnt out in the system yet & has not become complacent about the unhappy results that often occur when children are returned to their parents WAY TOO EARLY. Way to go Erin! Hope we work her a lot!!!

Two happy things - day 14

1. Peaceful outing. Going places with five kiddos is bringing humor to my life. That's for sure. I have learned soooo much lately. I have learned how to brush my hair & my teeth at the same time. I have learned one loses weight when they forget that meal time includes moms as well as children. I have learned that in order for an outing to be peaceful one needs to have an extra significant block of time attached in order to accommodate diaper changes, unscheduled feedings, baby spit-up, diaper bag packing etc. It's been a long time since I've done this & never with two in diapers at the same time. Anyway, our first outing with everyone was to Josh's football game today. I went extra, extra early & everyone was so well behaved. Ah...what a relief. I was worried how they would all be at a football game, but it went across without a hitch. Praise God for that.



2. TJ & Callie. We went to my sister's house for a family birthday party for my two-year-old nephew, TJ. He is absolutely precious & we had so much fun there. All the kids had a great time! It was nice to see little miss cutie Callie as well. I call her smiley cakes because all she does is smile. What a sweetheart. I love my niece & nephew & LOVE being an aunt.

Two happy things - day 13

1. Early Christmas presents. So we got the new furniture from our in-laws. It was in great shape, & since we decided we wanted it we wanted to know how much they wanted for it. They had planned on selling it & mostly certainly could have. Instead they announced that for Christmas they were not only going to give us the furniture, but today they had someone come and steam clean the furniture & steam clean our living & dining room carpet. What a nice present. It feels so good to have nice clean carpet since the baby is always rolling off the blanket and ending up on the floor. We really, really, REALLY appreciated that gift!
2. Attic treasures. With the arrival of the tiny people I keep making trips up to the attic. It's almost like going shopping but costs nothing! I keep finding things that make having tiny people a bit easier: a walker, high chair, bottles, clothes, blankets, toys etc. But today I found something really neat, a crib mobile. Davydd loves it!

Two happy things - day 12

1. Well-behaved children. Today was my first attempt at taking four boys to Walmart. I was sooooo thinking of my dear friend Maren with her four boys. I was a bit nervous at first, we were in the store for quite a while, and they were champs! (Remember I am the mom who has children who can crash a shopping cart on its side while they ARE IN IT!) The clerk even commented on how well behaved the kids were. She should have been at our house tonight...uh yeah, not quite the same experience. :)
2. Kirsten. As I walked through the kiddos rooms tonight I made a special point of letting Kirsten know how much I appreciate how nice she keeps her room. How I wish my other children could learn from her. Its so peaceful going in her girly little room all pretty & well kept. I don't have that same luck with anyone else.

Two happy things - day 11

1. New friends. I met a really nice woman who is also a foster parent today while I was helping out at Kirsten's school bookswap. She has been through her own "experiences" with this foster care system that truly is a mess (well, really the judges have been around WAY TOO LONG & need to be replaced, but that's another story.) Anyway, I just listened & listened in between helping the kids. It was very comforting to meet someone who really knows the emotional roller coaster foster parenting is.
2. Mallorie. I LOVE my hairdresser. I love my new hair color. Yes, people I color my hair. That's not a secret. The color is not a major change, but the haircut is. I got a mohawk. KIDDING! Anyway, just got a trim but I am enjoying the new color & since I think I found my first gray hair, I will KEEP coloring it.

Two happy things - day 10

1. Lonnie. My dear hubby offered to take the tiny people for their visit with their mom. It's very traumatic & emotional for the kids. For this first week, they have to have three visits all held at Children & Youth. I find it all so unsettling. Anyway, he took them so I could work on my homework. I was so glad to not have to go. He handled it all with great ease. I was pleasantly surprised.
2. Baby Bath. Davydd was surprised by the baby tub last week when I put him in it. He wasn't upset, just seemed aware that it was different. It's taken him awhile to really have a good time like babies usually do. He never cries, but didn't engage in any kicking in splashing....until tonight. From now on I will wear a wetsuit. He loves the bath & I love watching his delight in all of it.

Two happy things - day 9

1. Josh. What a wonderful helper that child is. He loves the foster children being here and is invaluable to me with helping care for them. The kiddos love him & he, like me, falls in love with them quickly. That child is truly a blessing.
2. Far away friends. Yes, Dottie, you can be a happy thing for me. The sound of your voice and your humor on my voicemail puts a smile on my face every time. Now if I just called you back maybe you could be happy too. :)

Two happy things - day 8

1. Hand-me-down furniture. I rebelled against it. I said I didn't want it. I said I don't want anyone else's stuff anymore! I said I want NEW! My in-laws wanted to give us their sofa and loveseat since they were changing to recliners and no longer wanted their furniture. It's nice furniture. It's even pretty. It's in wonderful condition, but I didn't want it. I could tell Lonnie did, but I refused to buckle. Well, my living room said goodbye to my sad old furniture & hello to my in-laws hand-me-downs. And....it looks beautiful in our house. Thank you Mamaw & Papaw for putting a gigantic smile on my face.
2. Angelia & Brent. Oh my, it's wonderful having grown children. Maybe not for everyone but I have to say we are so blessed to have these two in our lives. They are always trying to be of assistance. It is so sweet. Brent helped me with dropping off the tiny people to visit with their mom. I had some time to spare so we went to see their adorable new kitty named Sadie. What a sweetie. Afterward we went & grabbed some pizza. It was fun hanging out with Brent. Afterwards he helped Lonnie carry the new furniture. Again, so nice. Leah also came over & she played with the kids. They LOVED it. She is so much more fun than me. Thanks guys!

Two Happy Things - Day 7

1. Church. It makes all the world right for me. I can be having the worst time ever & truly try to treasure the sacrament and it's cleansing. I also gave my testimony today. I wanted to share my dream come true (no matter how temporary) & your influence in that dream. The sight of your faces, the glaze of tears in your eyes, and your kind words let me know I have my priorities in line. Very comforting. I felt so fulfilled today. And, thank you Karen for helping me with my tiny people today. You were such a blessing. I watched you & learned from you today. Your words of advice were so helpful. The blessing is mine just to know you.
2. Family walks. I LOVE THEM! We loaded evryone up in buggies and even took the dog. The only part of the family missing were Leah & Brent. :(

Two happy things - day 6

1. My sister, Amy. She came to visit with her little kiddos. Completely fun!!! Her kids and D & D are practically the same age. She brought us all kinds of goodies for the kids since they do not have much yet in the way of clothes and things. I was desperate for bibs, burp clothes, and clothes. She got me started & I am so appreciative! Thank you Amy!!
2. Awesome parents. My mom & Brad surprised me tonight & came over to watch all the little people so that I could go watch Josh's football game out in the rain. Can't take little ones out in that mess! I was so happy to go and so surprised anyone would even offer to help out so soon!!! I LOVE watching Josh's games & really was tickled.

Two happy things - day 5

1. My mom. This woman has been my saving grace more times than I could ever count, & today she struck once again. I had to take Kirsten & Aaron to Harrisburg for an appt. by myself. Normally this is not a big deal, but with two extra little people who each needed to be in strollers since I do not have a double stroller (anyone have one I could borrow), it was a scary visual. Walking four little people down Front St. in Harrisburg was just not the tranquil picture I was real comfortable with. I realized all of this mind you, 1 1/2 hours before it was time to go. I called my mom praying she could go, and woohoo she could. We had such a fun day. My mom makes any event a riot.
2. Helpful husband. My husband has really stepped up to the plate helping me with the extra little people and making sure everything doesn't fall apart. I was a bit nervous with how he would do, but he has come through with flying colors. I am really tickled.

Two happy thoughts...day 4

My goal is to do this for 21 days. They say it takes that long to form a habit. After 21 days of looking for the "positives" I should be a virtual glow worm or lightening bug or shining star or something brilliant at the very least. :)

1. Laughter. I do not know what is more precious...the laughter of a baby or Lonnie's desire to make the baby laugh. Lonnie, Davydd, & I laughed so hard tonight I had tears running down my face. I'm a very happy girl.
2. Helpful children. My kids are the biggest helpers, from Leah down to Dayton & everyone in between. I'm blessed to have them all. I don't think I could get through a day without their assistance. Tiny hands can do great things.

Two really happy thoughts...day 3

1. Six children. Two new little people named Dayton & Davyd. Could you hear the squeals of excitement coming from every crevice of our house today?
2. Special times between my children. I love when Leah & Brent do special things with Josh. Today they took him lazer tagging & mini-golfing for his birthday. He felt so special, loved being with them, had a ton of fun, and declared it was the best birthday gift he got.

Two happy thoughts..day 2

1. Old Friends.It's wonderful to have friends who are willing to go out of their way to help. They jumped in to help one of my dearest friends in need today. Thank you Cathy & John. It's a blessing to know you.
2. My first-born. Angelia came today, & we had the best time doing the simplest of things. It's so funny to listen to her share things about herself and realize how alike we are in ways I didn't know.

Attitude adjustment

As of late, I have been disgusted with some of my negative thoughts about certain things which is inevitably damaging to my spirit. I watched a funny/sad movie called Camille the other day with Lonnie. At the end of the movie I realized I had to change some of my thought patterns. So far it's not going too well. If desire counted I would be good to go, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions.



There are several things that I really want to focus on to feel like I am a better person. To help with this I thought I would try to make myself accountable to journaling two things that made me happy that day. Focus on the positive.,..just focus.

Two happy things today:

1. Completed homework. I had a ton of overdue homework to finish from being sick and I did it all in one day. Ah...what a feeling.
2. My honey. The reason I was able to do all that homework was because my husband chose to do all the "mom stuff" that I normally do. Thanks honey.

Magic words...

Can I just say that sometimes it is so hard to understand why people think, say, and do the things that they do? We can only ever look from the outside and hope that when trying to "get in" to a person's head that we are even remotely close to understanding them. A person's beliefs about themselves will truly pave the way to their road ahead. Sadly, for some people, there is no belief in themselves at all. Mediocrity, doubt, and unused talents besiege them. They are victims of a painful past, silent observers in the present, and senseless perpetrators of an empty future. It just is so difficult to be on the outside looking in, wishing you had the words to change a person's belief system that started long before you were even in their world.

June .....here and gone

*Disclaimer: This ridiculously long post is not meant to bore the rest of you; it was simply a guilt-free way of journaling my June for posterity purposes. You are not required to read it. :)

My dear husband's job situation is still the same, part-time. This is causing me an unrighteous amount of stress. Unless something drastic changes soon, I will be going back to work. If that happens, school is over for me and homeschooling is over for Josh. Doesn't seem fair to me, but I learned a long time ago that life isn't fair. I always wanted to be my friend Shelly who is a supermom, has a full-time job, goes to school, has way too much fun, and has 15 kids. Ok, well, not 15 but half that many. :) Unfortunately, I'm not Shelly. I just do not know how she does it. Anyway, dear hubbie is NOT ok with me going back to work, but our savings is only going to last so long, and "so long" is around the corner. So this lengthy blog was my way of recognizing the happy things that happened in June. I'm looking for happiness anywhere I can get it.

June 1 > A is for apple.
I'm a happy girl. I finished another block of classes with A's. Woohoo!! Can I brag about myself for one second? I have a 4.0 GPA. I have to be happy about it while I can. At some point, this will change I am quite certain.

June 4 > Last day of school for Kirsten!!
She's a happy girl too. Sadly though, it was finally decided that next year she will spend her days in a special NI classroom (Neurologically Impaired). I'm glad they have finally decided how to help her and what her disabilities are, but she will not be with any of the friends she has made. She had the same teacher for Kindergarten and 1st grade, Miss Winter. We will miss that teacher. She truly loved Kirsten.


June 6 > Aaron & T-ball
Aaron finished his T-ball season with a smile a mile wide. When he received his medal at the last game he looked like he had won the lottery. He wears Josh's medals around the house and was so happy to have his own. I'm not quite sure there's enough action in baseball for Aaron, but he had fun anyway.



June 7 > Codorus

Every year we like to go out to Codorus on Sunday evenings & listen to the music they have at the bandshell. Most of the time my parents go as well. They probably go more than us now. In June, this was the only Sunday that we went, & they were there too. Lonnie & Josh went to see a York Revolution baseball game with Josh's baseball team. The little people played with their bubbles and danced around, while my Mom & Brad & I listened to the music. It's nice just sitting there relaxing with them. Happy times.

June 8 > Callie
We added another birthday to June ...little Miss Callie.
Now that makes me happy! Is she perfect or what? My sister had her baby!! Yeah!!! What a beautiful baby she is, looks just like my sister's baby pictures.

It's so hard to believe TJ's a big brother now.



June 9 > Happy Birthday!
My dad's birthday. I hope they're lighting a cake for you in Heaven, Dad. I love and miss you.

June 11 > Aaron's preschool graduation
Aaron had his preschool graduation with all his little friends. They were a happy little bunch & put on a really cute program. He had the most wonderful teacher, Miss Michelle, and it will be hard to give her up. He really adored her.



June 12 > School done, start fun!
Josh's last day of school! Praise God. By the end of the homeschool year, he & I are burned out. Great job as always Josh! We got his test scores from his PSSA's back. These are the standardized tests that every student in the United States has to take. This is a homeschool mom's worst fear. If your child does not do well on these tests, then homeschooling might not be the best option for you. There are four levels to score in: Below Basic, Basic, Proficient, and Advanced. Josh scored Advanced in every section. I can wipe the sweat off my brow now. You just cannot know how happy that makes a homeschool parent unless you are one. We're so proud of you Josh!

To celebrate the final days of school for the kids, we went to Caledonia. First, we went to visit his online teacher, Mrs. Brandt, & drop off some of his samples. I love that woman. She is totally funny & just a genuinely nice person. I wish Josh could have her every year.

Afterwards, we were off to Caledonia for a picnic and walked a ridiculous 2-mile HIKE. I emphasize the word hike. There is a reason the trail was labeled difficult. We had so much fun though.



June 12> Late night date!
My mom & Brad watched the kids so Lonnie & I could get up early tomorrow & go to a foster parent training. She asked to have them overnight so we didn't have to take them over in the morning. Thanks Mom & Brad. They are a Godsend.

Lonnie & I took advantage of the free night & went on a late night date to Gettysburg. The Lincoln Diner was where we had our first late night date. Wouldn't you have dated this guy? What a cutie!!
It's always fun to go back, be happy & reminisce. I love you honey!

June 13 > Happy Birthday!
My mother-in-law, Joyce, has a birthday today! This woman does so much for us and rarely ever wants a thing in return. She always says, "My parents did this for us & told us to pay it forward. You can thank us by someday paying it forward to your children when they're grown." She is always giving me stuff that she thinks I will think is probably junk. I rarely ever think it is and she seems tickled to come over & see that I'm using the "stuff" she passed on to me.

June 14 > A baby & a bunny!

Josh & I went to see Amy, Matt, Callie & TJ! We were so excited to go & had a great time there as always. Later in the evening, Josh found a baby bunny out in the yard. We carted it over to the grandma and pappy vet clinic while Lonnie ran to Petco to get some special milk for the bunny. The kids were so happy that the bunny was going to be taken care of. Needless to say, the bunny was well taken care of & is now running around in their backyard. Way to go grandparents!!!

(Grammy is holding the bunny while Pappy feeds it.)

June 15 > Happy Birthday!
One of my dearest of friends has a birthday today. She's in Arizona with her family catching up and having WAY too much fun from the sound of her blog! I miss you Maren. :(

June 15-19 > Peace Camp for Josh & Kirsten.
(can't load pics)

I thank my good friend Gwenda for introducing me to this camp. It is a favorite every year now. We learned a lot about Kirsten this week and some things we need to work on. We'll just leave it at that. :) The kids were in a little play which was completely fun to watch!! This year's theme was Drums, Dances, Drama, & Dreams of Peace. There's nothing nicer than a bunch of happy kids together.

June 18 > Angelia & Brent
My baby girl is home from Florida!!! Welcome back Angelia & Brent. You are a sight for sore eyes. You cannot know how much you were missed. It is SO HARD to have your kids live far away. They made it home without a glitch. They didn't enjoy driving the moving truck with their car hitched on the back, but they got through it. We are just so happy to have them home safe and sound and in their own place.







June 20 > Happy Birthday!

(my favorite pic of Angelia taken by my amazing photographer cousin, Wende, from Utah)
We had Angelia & Brent over for dinner last night to celebrate her birthday. The gift is really mine though, having her home.


June 21 > Happy Birthday & Happy Father's Day!
My birthday, the big 4-0. Other wonderful people born on this day are my friends Karen & Rita. Happy B-day girls!

Father's day too!

(my favorite daddy pics)
It was a simple and quiet day. Went to church in the morning, took the family on a new trail we had never been on, went home and had a nice dinner.

June 22 > A future Yankee
Josh finished his baseball season quite the sad young man. After last years no loss season, this new team did not fair nearly as well. It left him quite disgusted but with an amazing passion for baseball none the less. We are happy to see his hitting is still improving. He had some really GREAT hits this season. He has decided baseball is "his" sport. He announced he will be playing for the NY Yankees when he grows up. Get your tickets now!!!


June 23 > Family Project
Whenever I say " family project" no one really knows what that will exactly entail. Our first project this season: a sunflower garden which is growing very nicely. The kids helped make the flower bed, carry the bricks. etc. It was so much fun.

Our newest project were rocking chairs.

I have several in all different sizes. The littlest was Leah's when she was a baby. How funny is that? Anyway, we worked on sanding, priming, and painting all day. The above pic is the chairs in all different stages. The below pic are the finished rockers. The littlest rocker is just waiting for one more happy little person to come. We're all waiting. :)




June 23 > Happy Birthday!
Today is Drew's birthday! He is Lonnie's nephew. We don't see them much, but Josh always has a good time with them.
(Drew, Austin, Josh, & Papaw right after his heart transplant a few years ago)


June 22 - 26 > Cheer camp for Kirsten.
Again, another eye-opening camp week. This little lady has a long road ahead of her with adjusting to new situations. She did the best that she could and by the end of the week the little waif was doing stunts. The highlight of the week was the "Cheer Off" on Friday night. After all the cheers and dances, they gave out awards. Kirsten received "The Most Improved Cheerleader" award. My mom and I were in tears. She truly had such a hard time in these different camps this month, but it is felt that it's one of the best ways to help her. Everyone in both camps was so understanding and patient with Kirsten, and that's what she really needed. I cried "happy tears" as Kirsten calls them.



June 24 > A day for ME!!
I had to go to Hershey for a doctor's appointment today, and I decided to enjoy the time by myself. Lonnie said, "Take the day!" and so I did. I went to Panera bread for lunch & enjoyed their yummy Baked Potato soup. Afterward, I was so tired from staying up late doing homework the night before, I took a little nap in the car. :) When my doctor's appt. was over, I somehow got lost at the outlets. I just cannot IMAGINE how that happened. It was tremendous, happy fun regardless.




June 25 > Tim & Todd's
We went to my brother's house for a cookout today. Tim & Todd are great cooks. We love their pool, their beautiful yard, and the best part is their company. The kids were completely happy running everywhere & playing in the pool. Thanks guys!


June 27 > FUN FUN DAY!
My sister planned a surprise 40th birthday party for me at her house. I had NO IDEA and was so thrilled to see my family and friends there. Fun day, yummy food, wonderful presents, just great!
In the evening, we went to Codorus to their Summer Blast festival. In honor of my birthday, they had amazing fireworks. There were tons of people there to continue with my sister's birthday surprise. Ok, well, maybe I'm exaggerating just a bit. There were fireworks, but they weren't really for ME. I like to think I'm that important. :)

I hope I didn't miss anything or anyone, & I hope that July goes slower than June. That would make me happy!