Dear Amy,

Well, thanks once again for a lovely visit at your house. Even with all our kiddos and their noise I find it so relaxing. It serves as almost an escape from some of the mundane chores of home. I love all the sharing and venting we do. I'm sometimes amazed at some of the things I learn about you. It's nice to know that even though we've been sisters forever we still have things to learn about each other.

You have strengths I definitely do not have, and they come from burdens of sadness I didn't know you carried. Interesting....very interesting. The moment I wish for your strengths I realize I would not want the burdens that you acquired to attain the strength. But, that is how strength comes. My burdens have been different than yours, not making one better or worse than others, just different. We experienced some of the same sadnesses such as Dad's death & some other things we spoke of, but we each internalized them in our own way. Our age difference had a part to do with that.

I just have to say that I'm sorry I wasn't the sibling that you needed during those times. I don't remember having the relationship with you that I've worked diligently to nurture amongst my own children. I know I have memory issues, but I 100% know that when Dad left the planet....well, so did I. The loss was so great for each of us in our own way and being a teenager I just wanted to escape from all of you. Seeing us as a family meant that part of the family was missing. I clearly remember Mom pleading with me as a teenager saying, "What is so wrong with us that you don't want to spend time with us?" (so sorry for that pain I caused you Mom. :(   There was nothing wrong with any of you. Being absent meant not being present to the absence of others. Understand? Looking back, I'm just so sorry. I hope my attempts at sisterhood now make up for the sister I wasn't then. I love you Amy. You're more than my sister, your a best friend.

Love, Lori