Which one of you is it?

The past two days I have been overwhelmed by this overwhelming sense of sadness. Makes me a bit nervous, I must admit. I go through the list of potential reasons, for I have to know why. Many, many years ago I lived in a state of depression thanks to a wretched ex-husband and the ugly nightmare that is attached to him. I lived in that depressed state for so long that once I escaped it, I vowed to never return except for maybe a casual sad day or two. History has shown me that sometimes when I feel this way it is because someone close to me is suffering with their own sadness. The depression I feel now is not necessarily mine, so who does this belong to? Any takers?

Maybe it's my lil sister, Amy. I went to see her yesterday & the girl is soooooooo pregnant. We had the very best day. I don't think she realizes how much fun I have when I am with her. I always go home in such a good mood. Anyway, she is so ready to have this baby & the doctor told her it will be a while yet. She was so bummed when she heard this. Once you hit 39 weeks you want to hear, "Oh, the baby will be here by tomorrow." Instead, the baby moves and kicks relentlessly as soon as my sister sits down. She must be uncomfortable in there or something because she is putting my sister in all sorts of pain. At 39 weeks, Amy is tired and wants to sit and take a rest sometimes. As soon as she does it, you can see the pain on her face. I wish they would just induce her already. It doesn't seem right she should have to suffer like this. I feel badly for her.


Maybe it's my friend Lee. Lee and her granddaughter Mikki


Her family is plagued with sickness right now. Cancer is running through them, over them, and probably coming up behind them. God bless that family. As the "matriarch" of the family, Lee is a pillar of strength. She always has a smile on her face and a twinkle in her eye. She should be Santa's wife. She completely fits the part with her sweetheart of a personality. Just a delightful woman who carries so much on her heart, but not on her sleeve. To see her, one would think she didn't have a problem in the world when that couldn't be further from the truth.


Maybe it's my dear old friend Linda. She is only 39 years old and is waiting for two people in her home to die. Sounds morbid, huh? She takes care of her 90 something grandmother who is deaf and now has become blind and has only 20% heart function. Memaw, as we all know her by, is a precious old woman. Caring for an elderly person is a lot of work though. She lives with Linda so Linda rarely gets a break. Then to add to the stress of this, Linda just recently heard her husband is dying of kidney failure. This literally came out of nowhere. It all but knocked her right off her feet. There is nothing that can be done for him because he is too far along. Dialysis will only slow the inevitable because he cannot get a transplant. So she waits along with her two children for the day when someone doesn't wake up. My heart aches so much for her. She must have the strength of a thousand men with all that she is carrying.

So any problem I have is so little compared to hers. As I wrote about Linda, I realized how lucky those of us are who have healthy, hard-working husbands. So who am I sad for today? Is it Amy, Lee, Linda, or someone else? Lord, let me know who it might be that needs my help today.